7 Dating Mistakes Everyone Makes | W Network

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7 Dating Mistakes Everyone Makes

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Jen Kirsch

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November 26, 2013

When bitten by the love bug, many of us pop-on a pair of rosy-shaded glasses and lack the ability to see things for what they really are. Because of this, we thought it would be high time to fill you in on seven dating mistakes not to make so you can keep your lovebuzz continuing on forever more. 

Not being honest with your intentions
Don’t pretend you’re happy just seeing where things go if you know you’re looking to settle down with someone. Nor should you will yourself to go with the flow and be hopeful that things will change if you’re looking for something serious. The second you share false feelings with another is the same second you ensure your expectations won’t be met. You shouldn’t have to manipulate someone into seeing you.

Moving in without being asked to
When us ladies feel like we’re floating on a cloud one up from nine, we often make the assumption that our partner feels the very same way. It’s healthy to always want to be by your partner's side, and to have butterfly-induced feelings when around him, but if you start slowly moving your stuff in (first toothbrush, then drawers, then redecorating his place) without him even asking you and you both drawing out and discussing boundaries, you’re going to push him away. Moving in is a big step. Financials, chores and the like should all be discussed in advance before your stayovers turn into a full-blown move-in.

Staying with someone until you find someone else
Many of us con ourselves into thinking that it’s better to have someone than to have no one at all. Whether it’s due to inability to be alone or fear of loneliness is hearsay, but when you stay with someone way past the expiration date, you end up making yourself less attractive to others. People are attracted to those who are strong, confident and fulfilled. We attract what we put out. So if you’re spending your valuable time with someone who doesn’t deserve it, are constantly bickering and are unhappy, you won’t be able to find a likeminded mate. The time you’re giving this person you see no future with should instead be given to yourself, to get yourself back to that fabulous person you are. In turn, you’ll attract and have time to find a better fix. Plus, no one wants to get involved with someone who’s involved with someone else.

As soon as you show someone you’re willing to accept crumbs from them, you can be sure they won’t find the need to feed you a whole meal.

Getting involved with someone who’s already involved with another
Similar to the point above, this situation will only cause drama. Be with someone who is willing to commit with you, who doesn’t have to hide you behind closed doors. As soon as you show someone you’re willing to accept crumbs from them, you can be sure they won’t find the need to feed you a whole meal.

Empty promises
Don’t give someone your word if you’re not going to keep it. You’ll end up letting others down, and eventually, they won’t be able to take you for your word when they know you can’t even honour it.

Saying nothing’s wrong when something is
Contrary to popular belief, people can’t read minds. We may think we’re being so obvious about our wants and needs and issues, but since miscommunication is often cited as the biggest relationship woe, it’s safe to assume that we’re not being as clear as we can be, no matter how many passive aggressive status updates and tweets and ignoring of calls we take part in. Be clear. If you want something to work with someone you’re dating, don’t hint or will them to guess what up. Tell them your issue and offer a solution. Do so in a conversational tone. The men in our lives want to make us happy, but it’s our job to tell them have to do just that. If you aren’t clear with them, your resentment will likely build and you’ll take out your frustration in other ways, something that pushes people away like none other.

Forgiving when you won’t let your partner forget
Don’t forgive your partner for something if you’re going to make them pay for it later. If you accept an apology, put it in the past. If you’re going to throw it in their face, you become the bad guy, and trust me, they’ll run. Learn the value of letting go. It will benefit your well being more than theirs. I promise.