What. The. F!
Let me take a silent face journey as I recap the the most insane episode ever.
There were three major moments that made me shriek "WTF" out loud and almost spill my wine.
1. Sally and Max Used to Be in Love But Now She's Probably Dead and It's All His Fault.
Wow, that sounds like a terrible country song. But it's true. This episode it's revealed that Maddie's con partners Max and Sally used to be an item with dreams of running away and living on a beach. After Sally murdered Mr. Heller (in what seems to be self defence) she bolts to the train station, presumably to take the midnight train going aaaaaanywheeeeeere!
Max ain't a dummy, so he finds her fairly quickly. She asks him to run away with her and he says yes. But faster than you can say "come on and do the locomotion" Lenny shows up and takes Sally away. Seems like Max was setting her up all along.
Where Lenny takes Sally, we aren't told but we have a hunch. It's kind of like when your dog goes missing and mom tells you "oh we took Sparky to live on a farm with Aunt Susie". No, girl. Sparky is DEAD. Gone. Bye. Sally isn't milking cows on any farm, you guys.
2. Maddie and Patrick Finally Hook Up and Now He's Her Next Target.
There's an ancient proverb from a Sir Sean Carter that goes, "On to the next one, on to the next one, on to the next one." For Maddie (who's still under the 'guise as Saffron), she just can't move on from Patrick.
After cleaning up a dead man's body off the carpet, something inside of her compelled her to reach out to Patrick. She heads over to his place and "smush" as they used to call it on Jersey Shore.
Patrick is a gentleman and even manages to take off that God forsaken ugly ankle bracelet of hers. "It was given to my by a former boyfriend," she says. And Patrick hasn't jumped out the window, yet. This guy is a keeper. Literally, because Max informs Maddie that her new mark is Patrick. Doctor's orders! Maddie squirms in the car because she's falling in love with him for reals and doesn't want to ruin his life. This is getting very interesting...
3. The Three Exes Finally Confront Maddie!
I haven't run into an ex of mine, let alone THREE AT THE SAME TIME while I'm sad and alone in a diner eating bacon & eggs in last night's clothes and makeup. I'm going to go ahead and assume this is every woman's nightmare. You just never know when you're going to run into an ex. This is why I always go grocery shopping in a ball gown.
Anyway, back to Maddie and the huge pickle she's in. Not the best time or place for Ezra, Richard and Jules to find her but they've been working hard to track her down. They deserve this. This scene was momentous.
Shit is hitting the fan. Put on a poncho.
Watch new episodes of Imposters Tuesdays at 10 E/P.