Friends With Benefits: The Rules | W Network

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Friends With Benefits: The Rules

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By Jen Kirsch

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September 7, 2014

These days, it seems like everyone is hooking up with and/or seeing someone, yet no one seems to be in a monogamous relationship. Surely, dating styles have changed in years of late, but it’s not just teens who are having the last laugh.Ladies everywhere seem to have been having fun in the bedroom, with a no strings attached kind of attitude. Thinking of following suit? Here are some things to keep in mind:

Have no expectations
If you’re casually hooking up, it should be casual. This means there are no rules on how often you hear from him/how often he hears from you. If you want a relationship with a future, then this type of relationship isn’t for you. If you want someone to spend Sundays with and some weeknights during the week, this too might be a struggle. Sure, people who casually hook up can spend more time together then what goes on behind closed doors, but typically a casual hookup is just as the title suggests and doesn’t include cuddle and chat time. If you can let go of any expectations, this type of arrangement will work for you.

Do only when convenient
The whole point of a casual hookup is that it is easy and there are no strings attached. The second you find yourself switching your plans around to see your playmate, or you avoid committing to plans with others hoping to hear from him, you change the dynamic of the casual relationship. If he happens to be around and you do at the same time and you’re both are interested in seeing each other then, then all is good. But don’t fret if he opts for some nights off or just isn’t sure—that’s the whole point of having something casual, no pressure.

There’s no one else in the picture
Let's face it, many of us keep a gent in the wings as a ‘just in case’ if things with our current partner doesn’t work out. Perhaps we’re dating a fella of our fancy, who isn’t willing to commit, so—to not put our eggs all in one basket—we engage in some casual nookie with another. I understand this concept, the need and want for attention and affection, but it can often do more harm than good, especially when feelings and emotions are involved. Be wary of hooking up with a guy who is still sorting things out with his ex, or isn’t fully out of a relationship. No matter what he tells you, the last thing you want is to place yourself in a love triangle and be open to the potential of drama.

Relax and enjoy
Since there is no means to an end, you can thoroughly relax and enjoy your experience. This is a great person to experiment with since nothing the two of you do together will affect your future. As well, you can be honest with your bed buddy about what you need behind closed doors, without worrying about offending him. Focus on yourself, your wants and your sexual needs and enjoy the easiness of not having to fake a relationship, or more than that if you know what we mean.


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