Sue's Sex FAQ
Post Pregnancy
Sex FAQs provided by Sue Johanson of the Sunday Night Sex Show.
Q. I had a C-section four months ago. Since then I found it impossible to orgasm. What is wrong?
A. Did you have a postnatal exam and is everything okay? Yes. Then give it a few more months. Make an appointment and if in two months you haven't really felt good about it, then go back and ask about it. The incision of a C-section is along your "bikini line" and really should not interfere with you ability to reach orgasm. You may find that doing Kegel exercises to tighten you pubococcygeal muscles will help you reach orgasm. Ask your doctor or gynecologist if there was any nerve involvement or complications. You may find that solitary masturbation brings back your orgasmic responses.
Q. My baby is now six months old and I am finding it very difficult to get back into the role of sexy lady. I am tired all the time and don't like my body. What can I do to get me back again?
A. First of all, I want you to slow down and be where you are right now. Your baby is only six months old, so your hormones are still juggling for superiority. One minute you are deliriously happy, the next you feel totally inadequate, exhausted and sometimes very sad.
Any first baby brings about a complete change in your lifestyle. First of all you are physically exhausted and you are sleep deprived. Babies are demanding and they can be fussy, colicky then pure joy.
Remember when you were lumpy pregnant and thought the minute your baby was born, your magnificent "bod" would come right back. Here you are… six months postpartum -- stretch marks, cellulite, breasts that just sag unless you are breast feeding, then they are large, firm and tender and tend to leak at embarrassing times. Nipples have changed to dark brown and are larger.
You may have a dark line from your breastbone to your pubic area, it is called linea nigra but it will lighten up a bit. If you had an episiotomy, it will have healed by now, but might still be a bit tender. Your vagina may feel lose and sloppy unless you have been practicing Kegels throughout your pregnancy and after.
You may not have an effective method of birth control, so you are fearful of another pregnancy right now.
Your relationship may be under stress right now. You could be feeling anger and resentment at your partner for not being as involved in parenting or helping out. Then you are not going to feel loving and intimate. Your partner may not understand this and just wants things to be the way they were before the baby.
Talk to your partner; tell him how you are feeling, not blaming him, but using "I feel" language. Explain that while you are not feeling "hot to trot," you are there for him, but you do need assurance that you are the epitome of femininity and desirable. In all probability, your body will never again be the centerfold of Playboy, but it is great and it works. You just need a little reassurance and help from your partner.
Most women are back on hormone track and feeling/functioning just fine by the time the baby is a year old. Read "Is There Sex After Baby" by Ellen Kreidmen.
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