Sue's Sex FAQ
Oral Sex
Sex FAQs provided by Sue Johanson of the Sunday Night Sex Show.
Q. Out of the blue, my boyfriend asked me to do a rim job. Is this safe?
A. Rimming is oral stimulation around the rectum of either a male or a female. This usually consists of licking, kissing, sucking and perhaps penetrating the rectum with the tongue.
We all know that feces travel through the large bowel and are extracted from the body through the rectum. While urine is stale in the bladder, we know that feces are loaded with bacteria.
So, if you are in oral contact with the rectum, you are exposed to a wide variety of bacteria. So, if your partner has any of these sexually transmitted diseases, you are exposed to them from the anus. The list includes: Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Yeast Infection, Trichomoniasis, Oral Herpes, Viral Hepatitis, Genital Warts, crabs and Scabies, viral Hepatitis and HIV/AIDS.
So there is risk involved in rimming. Now, this risk can be reduced if you placed a "dental dam" or a condom (latex) that you opened up and spread out to cover all of the anal area.
For me, the most important question is: How do you feel about his request? Do you think it would be pleasurable for you? Are you considering doing this to please him? Are you concerned that he will call you a "prig" or a "prude" if you do not go along with his request? Are you concerned that he might break up with you if you refuse? Or are you wondering what other "ideas" he may have in mind for you and he to try, such as threesomes or bondage?
You do need to talk to your partner. Be honest, tell him your concerns and fears. If you decide to try it, he must agree that he will not try and persuade you to continue against your will and that you will practice SAFER SEX.
Q. I am a gay male and have had a perfect partner for almost two years. I often have oral sex with my partner and I allow him to ejaculate into my mouth. Can HIV be transmitted in this way?
A. We used to say that oral sex was "low risk behaviour," but recent research indicates it may be a risky thought. A few considerations here: Are you in a monogamous relationship with no outside sexual contacts, either anal or oral? And have you both been recently tested for HIV? If there are no outside contacts and if the tests are negative, then, in all probability, you are safe. If not, then you will need to assess the risks, discuss it with your lover and seriously consider practicing safer sex. Use condoms all the time, every time.
Transmission of the virus is possible if you have a gum boil, a canker, if you have bitten your lip, if you brushed your teeth vigorously and made your gums bleed, or even if you had eaten popcorn and one of the kernels cut your gum, you could be vulnerable.
Researchers believe that there are some cells in the oral mucous membrane which will allow the virus to pass through into your blood supply.
Nobody likes the taste of latex, and using condoms lubricated with Nonoxnyl 9 will numb the mucous membrane of your mouth - not fun. There are some new condoms that are coloured and flavoured; they make oral sex more pleasurable and safe. I am sorry, there is no definitive answer to this question; you have to assess the risks and act accordingly. Sex is not worth dying for.
Q. When I perform oral sex on my girlfriend, her mouth went numb for about five minutes. Why?
A. It probably has something to do with blood supply. When she is horny, sexually aroused or had a couple of orgasms, a lot of blood goes down to the genitals and there may not have been a lot of circulation. That's the only thing I can think of. She is not going to have a stroke, heart attack, pass out or die. It's not something to worry about.
Q. During foreplay my boyfriend has a bad habit of biting me during oral sex. Do you have a book or technique to stop this?
A. The technique is one word…STOP. When you're sexually aroused and he bites you, it hurts. Just one good smart whack on the side of the head would get his attention, wouldn't it? Don't worry about hurting his feelings, go ahead, hurt his feeling - trample on them. If you talk to him and it doesn't register there has to be some way to get his attention. You might have to say, "If you EVER do that again, you are out of here." It might be dangerous because he might get nasty, but you could bite him on his sensitive penis. He might like it and you would be in bigger doo doo. Give him an ultimatum. "You do it and…"
Q. I want to have oral sex involving candy. Will this cause a problem?
A. Candy has sugar in it. Sugar in your vagina changes the alkaline/acid balance in your vagina. You will be more likely to get yeast infections. If you get one, then quit the candy. I'm not going to worry about it until the yeast flares up. Then try yogurt - yummy, yummy.
Q. My girlfriend has had a month's worth of G-spot orgasms. Now when I perform oral sex the taste is anything but sweet. Why?
A. Normally G spot fluid is slightly sweet. It is not bitter and smells like clover. If she did not reach G Spot orgasm, her normal discharge and lubrication is her distinctive taste and odor. There is a slight possibility that she has a vaginal infection that has changed the taste. Ask her to go to her doctor to be checked out.
Q. How can my braces affect oral sex with my partner?
A. Braces can definitely affect oral sex with your partner. It will affect eating, talking and cleaning your teeth. It won't hurt him but it will slow you down a lot. It will have a different sensation for him. It will not be soft and warm. It is hard plastic so it won't have any give to it. Check with your dentist. You're paying him the big bucks. I haven't seen how much orthodontia you have in your mouth, so I don't know how it will affect oral sex on your partner. Be sure and ask him to tell you if it feels uncomfortable for him. I can't think of any other way.
Q. Lately after we have anal sex, my boyfriend wants to have oral sex right afterward. Should I be concerned about diseases? We don't use condoms.
A. His penis was in your rectum and you are not using a condom? Are you nuts? Think about it, the rectum is for feces…caca…poo poo. He is putting his penis into all that stuff without a condom? Think of the risks of lovely sexually transmitted diseases AND HIV/AIDS. Come on lady, get smart.
To top it off, he wants YOU to perform oral sex, take his penis into your mouth, after is has been in your rectum? YECHT!
Why would you do something like that just because your boyfriend wants you to do it? Please lady, think for yourself. You can give him two choices: either we use a condom for bum sex, which I strongly recommend to keep you form all sorts of diseases and things, or we definitely will not be having oral sex after anal sex. In fact, we don't do vaginal sex after unprotected anal sex. That is high-risk behaviour and not a good idea. So you tell him "No, this is not going to happen. You listen to me. This is what I want." You better get used to doing it because if this is a long-term relationship you are going to have to talk firmly to him about a while lot of things in the future. When in doubt - don't.
Q. When I go to perform oral sex on my girlfriend, her clitoris is so sensitive it bugs her. She has never had an orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Is there a way I won't hurt her?
A. Use a lot of good commercial lubrication from any good sex store. Most body lubrication is produced around the opening of the vagina and once she is sexually aroused, there is no more released - it can only get sore and irritated. Also, be very gentle. The clitoris responds better to a feather touch then it does to any other kind of stimulation. Kissing and licking gently with lots of lube.
Q. Past girlfriends have complained how I taste when they are giving me oral sex. How can I make my ejaculate taste better?
A. There are pills available called Sweet Succretions. They come from the states and you can't buy them in a health food store. You have to send for them and they cost a dollar a day. You take one pill a day. I looked at the chemical composition and there is nothing in there that would be harmful. Our testers try them out to see if their ejaculate has changed taste and it has.
If you eat meat is it salty, sour and bitter and tastes burned. If you are pure vegetarian your ejaculation is sweeter.
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