Jealousy comes in many forms from sibling rivalry to suspicious spouses. Such a powerful emotion is jealousy that it can distort a developing child’s entire personality and, therefore, should be discouraged or minimized wherever possible. If jealousy is not quashed at an early age, it can follow us into our intimate adult relationships.

Interesting Theory
Male jealousy tends to focus on sexual infidelity, making the male partner feel sexually inferior, even less of a man. Female jealousy, on the other hand, more often comes with concerns of emotional infidelity. Women fear their partner developing the sort of emotional commitment that could lead to a much larger diversion.

What Is Jealousy?
Literally, jealousy refers to a strong desire for someone else’s position or possessions. But in social settings, it is when someone is doubtful of their partner and feels threatened by their interaction with certain people or situations.

Why Do We Get Jealous?
Jealousy is often acquired through past experiences. If you have already been cheated on, this fear of repetition may cause you to be more possessive and controlling.

Healthy Jealousy
Jealousy is not necessarily a horrendously negative emotion. It isn’t so abnormal for couples to experience a modicum of suspicion. Having reservations about your lover going to a strip bar is a perfect example of how some jealousy can be a harmless and normal reaction.

Unhealthy Jealousy
For those who take it to an unhealthy level, jealousy diminishes the primary foundation that holds a relationship together: Trust. If you feel the need to make a list of unreasonable rules for your lover, it is instinctive for them to wonder: Should we even be together? Before reaching this dangerously high level, we must get help.

12-Step Program for Jealousy

The following 12 suggestions to help you cope:

1. Reality Check
Focus on what is really happening, not what you perceive is happening.

2. Learn From Past Experiences
Look back at how your behaviour has affected past relationships and learn from past mistakes.

3. Give Yourself Credit
Realize that your lover chose you for a reason. Remind yourself that you’re every bit as deserving as the people you feel threatened by.

4. Get An Objective Opinion
Ask a friend to take note of your behaviour. A neutral party’s opinion may help put things into perspective.

5. Set Ground Rules Up Front
Sit down together and establish some general guidelines as to what is and isn’t acceptable for you.

6. Walk It Off
Keep your jealousy under wraps. If you can maintain your composure, perhaps in time you will grow more secure and less jealous.

7. Heal Thy Self
Insecurity is a main cause of jealousy. Building your own confidence may eliminate the green-eyed monster.

8. Take A Step Back
Take a look at your situation and challenge your belief that your man is going to run off with the first big-busted blonde that comes along.

9. Share Your Concerns
Telling a sensitive partner how you feel, rather than throwing a hissing fit can lead to a better understanding of how you both feel.

10. Imagine the Shoe on the Other Foot
Try imagining that you are on the receiving end of your own questioning and accusations. How would you feel?

11. Be Prepared For The Worse Case Scenario
If your partner falls for someone else and leaves; what then? One of the best ways of guarding against jealousy is knowing you could handle the worst if it happened.

12. Another Reality Check
If all else fails, you must face the reality that you have no control over another persons actions, only your own.

The Bottom Line

Jealousy is not about love; it is about insecurity and control.

What about those who sets out to spur jealousy in another person? This too is about insecurity and control, only with a twist.