Most new couples anticipate few bumps on the road to a lifetime of happiness. However, as those blissful first months turn into years, and the pressures of family life take their toll, it’s easy for a couple to find themselves growing apart.

Not every “bump” is a cause for concern, but there are plenty of issues that have the potential to seriously damage a marriage. How can you tell the difference? Well, it might be time to seek some outside assistance.

“The problem is, many people don’t come to a marriage counselor until they are at the point where they can’t stand to be in the same room together.”

Luke De Sadeleer is a therapist and the author of “Vitamin C for Couples: Seven C’s for a Healthy Relationship.” He says that many people are so resistant to the idea of seeing a therapist that it takes a major emotional disaster - such as an affair - to get both partners to come in for counseling.

“Usually when people go to see a counselor it’s reactive. They’re reacting to a major problem. It often takes one partner saying to the other, ‘if you don’t come to counseling with me, then I’m going to leave,’ to get the other party to go.”

Rather than waiting until a marriage is at the breaking point, De Sadeleer suggests all couples work to maintain open and healthy communication with each other. That way they have a better chance of recognizing problems that need outside intervention, before major damage occurs.

“If you find you’re fighting about a particular issue over and over again and can’t seem to get past it, it’s time for a third party to get involved.”

Finding the right counselor is just as important as recognizing the need for counseling. Whether it’s through the phone book or a friend’s referral, couples should check the credentials of any prospective therapist. A counselor who is trained in couples therapy and belongs to a professional organization will likely be able to provide the most up-to-date care.

Once a counselor has been selected, the couple needs to schedule an initial meeting. De Sadeleer says it’s vital that both parties attend.

“Trust is very important in therapy. It’s critical to find someone that both partners feel they can work with.”

In fact, some couples even work with two counselors so that neither partner feels discriminated against.

Even if a couple believes they have relatively few problems, De Sadeleer is convinced that marriage counseling is an excellent way to maintain a solid relationship.

“Communication is so important in maintaining the health of your marriage. Counseling can help almost any couple learn to communicate more effectively. And that translates to a happier, healthier marriage.”