You’ve changed thousands of diapers and woken up for hundreds of night-time feedings, but what you’re really dreading is that day when your young child asks you about sex. It usually begins with the “Where do babies come from?” question and just escalates from there.

Most parents today still look upon the arrival of these questions with trepidation because children have a wonderful way of inquiring about sensitive things at the most inopportune times. Not to mention the fact that your parents didn’t have any ‘sex’ discussions with you until you were 13-years-old. What the heck do you tell a five-year-old who asks how babies are made?

The key to dealing with these issues successfully is to prepare for them in advance. Most experts agree that one thing you can do to make the sex talk easier is tell your children the appropriate names for their genitals right from the beginning. Don’t call a penis or a vagina a ‘pee-pee’ or a ‘thingy.’

Another good rule of thumb is to answer your child’s questions at the time they ask. If they ask at an inopportune time, tell them that you’re glad they asked, you’d have to think about the answer and talk with them later about it. The key to this is not to forget to talk with your child later. Even if the child doesn’t bring it up again, you should.

When a child is anywhere from two to five years old they will begin discovering sex differences, develop sex roles and gender identification. You may feel that your child is too young to know about these things, but typically anytime after the age of five a child will need an explanation as to what exactly sex is.

You could begin your conversation by asking the child what they think it is, thereby gaining a better understanding of what is or isn’t understood. In “Little Kids, Big Questions”, a Good Housekeeping Parent Guide by Judi Craig PH.D., the following is suggested as an example of an explanation of sex for a child over five years old:

When a mother and father make love, they lie next to each other, very close, kissing and hugging. The father’s penis gets very hard and he puts it into the mother’s vagina. This feels very nice to both of them, and it is a special way to show each other how much they love each other. A liquid called semen comes out of the father’s penis into the mother’s vagina. If the time is right, the mother will have a little egg, so tiny you couldn’t even see it, inside of her uterus. If the liquid from the father’s penis meets that little egg, a baby will start to grow in her uterus.

This may seem like an explicit description to you, but bear in mind that just because your parents never explained it to you this way doesn’t mean you can’t be this clear with your child. Children today are much more aware of sex due to the amount of media exposure they get; therefore, it is imperative that we give them the right ideas. Remember that one conversation is just the beginning of the multitude of conversations you should have with your child about sex and relationships. Ensuring your children have the correct picture of sex and grow up with a healthy sexual identity is one of the many responsibilities you have as a parent. Don’t panic, just be prepared.