With the holidays approaching, the kids are getting excited. But why, for so many adults, does the joy in the air suddenly plunge them into blue moods they just can’t seem to shake? Actually, it’s natural to feel some anxiety and depression around holiday time. That’s because we’re overloaded with emotion: everything from the stress of family reunions, to anxiety about the details that need addressing, to feelings of profound loneliness. Before you get caught off-guard by the holiday blues, prepare yourself for a happier holiday season this year with our top 10 tips.

1. Forget the Fantasy
Just because it’s a merry month doesn’t mean your brother will magically transform into your best buddy. Sure, you’re looking forward to catching up after so many months of silence, but keep your expectations realistic. If your relationship was strained throughout the year, a little tinsel won’t do much to change it.

2. Drinking Won't Make You Merry
If you’re already feeling anxious, don’t make the mistake of trying to drink it away. After your buzz wears off, you just may find yourself blindsided by a headache and lower lows than you'd normally feel.

3. Plan a Meaningful Remembrance
If the memory of a lost loved one threatens to the joy out of the holidays for you, take action to celebrate their life, rather than dwelling on their absence. Making a donation to their favourite charity or devoting a few hours to volunteering will help transform your pain into purpose.

4. Surround Yourself with Friends
While you may feel the obligatory pull to invite over every family on your block, you can fight it. If you know you’re just going to end up warring with your nasty neighbour, leave her off your guest list. Sure, you’re likely to run into her at another do, but on your turf, insist on surrounding yourself with only those people you feel free to kick off your shoes and dance with.

5. Enjoy the Festivities
When it comes to the holiday rituals you loved as a child, don’t just go through the motions. Keep yourself focused on the present, and enjoy each moment you spend decorating your home, lighting the candles, and baking cookies with the kids.

6. Look to the Future
If you spend the season longing for the good ol’ days (before your kids became moody teens, or before he left) you’ll lose the opportunity to make new memories. Keep in mind that you’ve probably turned the past into a utopia that didn’t really exist. Look to your life ahead and make plans for your future.

7. Reconnect with Friends and Family
Combat loneliness by reconnecting with your old high school pals, or those hilarious distant cousins that have somehow fallen off your radar. These days, you don’t even have to hunt up mailing addresses. From the comfort of your desk chair, you can just log onto websites and choose an e-card that expresses it best, and click send.

8. Accept Support
It’s so easy to fall into solitude when you’re feeling sad. Perhaps you don’t want to be a burden, or bring anyone else down. But sometimes just voicing your feelings can reduce their impact. Chances are, if you try reaching out to your spouse, your mom, or your best friend, you may find that when it comes to the holiday blues, you’re not as alone as you think.

9. Start a New Tradition
Alright, so last year’s string of parties left you cold, and you want to avoid them at all costs. Here’s your chance to shake it up by adding a new twist to the old celebration. If just the thought of escape lifts your spirits, plan to head up north for a last-minute ski vacation, or spend the holidays in the sun.

10. Plan ‘Me’ Time
This year, be careful not to schedule every moment of every day, or you just may run out of gas. Keep yourself recharged by taking a yummy nap in the afternoon – right before that feast for 30 – and by freeing up some quiet moments to take a bath, read a book or walk the dog. A little solitude will go a long way toward lifting your spirits when you need it most.