I have been a bridesmaid four times and every time my phone rings with one of my friend’s joyous voices proudly proclaiming that she is engaged, I can’t help but feel a slight bit envious and wonder when it is going to ME buying the beautiful, white gown as opposed to the purple, puffy one.

Being a bridesmaid takes a great deal of patience, but the hardest part is adjusting your relationships with your friends after they are married.

Here’s how to deal:

• Realize that life will change. Your friends will now have dinner dates with other married couples, they will spend New Year’s Day with in-laws as opposed to recuperating on your couch from last night’s drinking binge and when you go over to watch movies with your friend and her new husband you can no longer wear a mud mask and watch the highlights of Dirty Dancing again and again.
• You will still be able to have quality time, but it will now require more planning. For example, one great thing that I have discovered truly works is proclaiming one weekend a year as a girls’ weekend. You can pre-set a date every year so that you all know when it is coming and then just take off and do your thing. This way you can talk about guys and moisturizer and not cause spouses to roll their eyes.
• Accept your friend’s spouse. If you despise your friend’s spouse it will only limit the amount of time that you get to spend with your friend because she won’t want to have you both around at the same time for fear of name-calling and sarcasm strong enough to cut through stale wedding cake. If you learn to tolerate their spouse, or even like them, it will make things that much easier and not put stress on your friendship. By simply taking the time to hang out with the two of them you will get to see why your friend is so happy and feel comfortable in their home. And for those getting married...
• You have to make an effort too. As the newly married friend you have to remember that although your friend may not have a man or a ring, you were once there too. Life would be pretty empty without your girlfriends, so make time to have them over for a gab session. And beware your choice of bridesmaid dress: you too may be sent down the aisle in a jazzy, pink number as payback.